“Anything is possible when you have the *right people* to support you. “ _ Mistry Copeland
Life will put us in such situations where we all feel a lack of support system. This lack of support system especially from the family members gradually leads to lack of self-confidence.
We human beings need some extra boost of motivation, emotional support and a small amount of encouragement to travel the journey called ‘Life’! The lack of family support many a times lead to self-doubt and self-doubt eventually drags towards failure.
Here are the top 3 reasons why your family might not be supporting you! You must know them before knowing how to cope with the same.
- Your problems might seem unrealistic to your family members. After all, not always is a problem considered unless it becomes a trouble!
- You aren’t able to convey your problem or goals to them in an effective way. And so, they aren’t interested equally to pay heed towards you!
- You are not honest with yourself, by which I mean you keep on lying about your physical, mental, or spiritual lockouts to yourself. And if you lie to yourself, how can you be honest to your family and friends?
It’s unhealthy to assume that you’re bound to have a supporting family and a happy family frame put across the wall. Sometimes it’s normal to have a family where spending a single day together seems like a burden. The reason may be an immature uncle trying to comment on your career choices. Or even your mother pulling you away from your goals.
Agitation amongst such type of family is new normal. I guess you can relate to it better! That’s the reason you’re here reading this blog. You’ve all the right to get upset if you belong to such a family. After all that’s real is real! You don’t have to always agree with your family. Because one healthy ‘No’ is better than ten unhealthy ‘Yes’. Your trauma and struggles can be sometimes a secret reason for your down-fall.
Researches show that individuals with mental health challenges who are able to defeat negativity and return to normal have a strong support system of family. The urge to have a family support is quite normal, but what do you do when you have no encouraging support from your family?
Here are 7 ways to cope with a lack of family support:-
Build a unique support network:-
You often seek help from those who don’t even try to listen to your problems and that someone could be your family (sad, but it’s the bitter truth). In such situation, instead of approaching the same person twice, open up to the people who tries to understand you; cause this will not only be helpful but also satisfying for your life.
If you possess some hobbies like reading books, being fit, dancing etc then you must join a library, health club or a dance class respectively. Getting engaged in such activities will help you interact with people having similar interests. And gradually you’ll be surprised to know that it was so simple to communicate with a unique group of people. This way within no time they’ll be a reason of your newly developed support system.
2. Open up socially and verbally:-
Do you fear to walk into the society ? Do you act weird when it’s a question of verbal communication? Do you drag yourself out of the crowd? If the answer is ‘Yes’, I’m afraid!
You must try to cope up with strangers. You must learn to begin a conversation and surround yourself with chilling-companions. You never know ‘how and when’ their experience turns to be your lesson.
3. Make a ‘to-do’ list :-
Physical activities such as playing sports, dancing,work out etc acts as a relief against the stress levels. Add such activities in your ‘to-do’ list . Also ,if you’re a peace lover, add meditation, book-reading, painting etc into your daily routine. These things will for sure distract your mind off of the negative mind-sets.
4. Write down your struggles:-
Lack of support from family can often rise from a lack of proper communication on your part. Many a times the other people of whom you expect support might have no idea of the struggles you’re going through. And the reason could be your poor way/fear of expression!
So, it’s very important that you try to write down your struggles on a paper. This will make your heart pour out easily. After this you could wisely choose ‘when and whom’ to read the same. This way things will be easier for you as well as for the one who reads it.
The habit of journaling is a magnificent way to help yourself sort through your feelings; you can anytime walk away and return into it.
5. What if you’re to be your own support system :-
We’re all experts at giving advice to others but are we capable enough to follow our own advices?
Try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes; the one you lack support from. And then try to quote an advice for yourself which otherwise would be the other person’s advice. Don’t you think this would be a great way to trust and support yourself?
Remember, family support isn’t under your control, but to gift yourself a new support system is at your reach. Spend time with those who add a positive vibe in your life. This vibe is a disguise of strong support system. You need to work on it often , cause this will be a benefit for your own self . Polish those jewels that’s gonna shine sooner or later in your life.
From my point of view, it is disappointing and painful to have a lack of support from family members, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find a support system I need! It’ll require effort but the effort will lead to a healthy reward!
6. It’s their issue, Not mine:-
Look at your problems a different angle. By this, I mean to say that many people don’t realise your presence until and unless you do something great or unique. So, why to prove something to someone and gain their support? Why not be happy by ‘self-gain’.
“ It’s their problem , not yours! “ _ develop this attitude if someone isn’t supportive.And half of the problem is sorted out!!
Remember, sometimes there’s just no changing the way someone looks at you _ but you can surely choose how to ‘react’ to them.
7. Confidence: the jewel:-
You must know, Confidence is the most powerful weapon for a being. Everyone is busy encountering their own battles inside and so they might not give you what you expect of them. Solution? Be confident in your own decisions! Done just break down as soon as someone pulls off their support. Cause, ‘self-confidence’ comes as a rescue. And it’ll continue to come at your doorsteps provided you know how to practice the same!
So, it’s time for the final warning. It goes on something like this: the next time before you lend your ears to someone in order to absorb a piece of advice, ask yourself these 3 questions-
- Is the person giving me the piece of advice worth it?
- Do I need to seek his/her advice or support?
- Are they up with some shallow advice /support?
Carefully, analyze these 3 questions and only take the next step.
From my point of view, it is disappointing and painful to have a lack of support from family members, but that doesn’t mean I can’t find the support system I need! It’ll require an effort but the effort will lead to a healthy reward!
Author:- Komal Kumari from team invertedmirror.com