“You are important, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful. “ _ Amy Bloom.
If you are the one who feels insecure about the way you look, congrats, because you aren’t alone. There are many to give you a company. Chill and focus on the fact that individuals are bombarded with uncountable suggestions about beauty standards every second. And these suggestions can very easily contribute to the upliftment of “self-doubt” feelings. Insecurity us sure to visit your doors due to these types of beauty standards messages.
The society we live in contributes to self-doubt feelings and insecurities. Today’s modern society emphasizes on physical appearance and thus, it’s easier to let your feelings about looks partake all other aspects of self-value.
You might be familiar with this term – “ Beauty lies within. “ And surprisingly it’s very true! Beauty really does comes from within. Mental health experts showcase a green flag to the fact that your brain has a vast impact on how you feel about your looks. Luckily, this means you can also learn how to adore your own looks and appearance by just twisting state of your mind.
Are you not happy with the way you look?
Pause for a while and just check if your answer is a Yes or No for the following aspects:
- You buy clothes as per your choice but later decide that those clothes just don’t feel right upon you, even though you were the one to choose them. Hence, you end up wearing them anyway.
- You’re a believer of the fact that looking good takes a lot of monetary support. And so you don’t even try to look good.
- You select clothes for yourself based on the opinions of your friends , your spouse or others.
- You avoid social gathering just because of your physical appearance.
- It’s not that you don’t wanna look good, but you don’t know where to begin.
If any of the above mentioned aspects goes with a YES on your behalf, the you must read on, cause you deserve to feel comfortable in your own body and skin.
Is it important to feel good about the way you look?
Surveys show that positive self-views are the stepping stones towards long term happiness. And this positive self-views emerge from self-acceptance and self-worth. You can see how self-view is linked to self-confidence which is the most important value a human being must possess!
If I ask , “ Do you value yourself? “ You’d quickly say, “ Of course I do! “ but this might not be always true.
For example:- You post a photo of yourself on Instagram and then wait anxiously for the likes and comments to roll in. Why? Because you are one among many who seeks outside validation of your self-worth, rather than feeling good about yourself from the inside out.
On the contrary, a person with high self-esteem can share his/her photo on social media and step away without giving too much thought about the count of likes or comments.
How does your self-view affects your life?
Self-view plays an important role in your life. It affects your your:
- Interests and Hobbies
- Outlook on life
It’s high time to turn yourself to practical ways that you can and build a strong self-esteem.
Here are 13 things you can and must do to feel at ease with the way you look:
1. Add-self care in your routine:
Feeling bad about yourself can make you neglect your body and doubt your self-worth. This ultimately serves to perpetuate negativity. You start ignoring yourself cause you feel bad about yourself. You stop the practice self-care which makes the situation even worse . So, I’d suggest rather command you to follow self-care strictly.
Read this blog for details on ‘ Why practice self-care’:
Read this blog for details on ‘ How to show yourself love‘:
2. Identify what you love about your body:
You always focus on what’s wrong, neglecting what’s right. Try to reframe your attention to focus on what you like about your body. This will magically reduce the insecurity lying deep within you. There are many more things within you which are far more important and beautiful than your outer looks. For example, focus on your relationship, outlook towards the world, perspective etc. You must pay heed to those qualities . After all the outer beauty is going to last for some more days, but, the inner qualities are long-lived!
3. Give importance to positive self-talk:
It’s quite natural that you will find yourself putting down a lot if you feel bad about yourself. And the biggest reason behind this is your engagement in negative self-talk. For example: “I can’t believe how fat I’m.” or
“My arms are too bulky. “
These types of thoughts throughout the day is highly harmful for your mental growth . Try to swap negative self-talk with positive.
For example: “ I’m not fat, it’s just I’m healthy.” Or
“ I’m really proud of how strong my arms are. “
It might sound silly but the results are fruitful.
If you freak at your appearance all the time, you’ll get into a habit. And gradually you’ll end up criticizing yourself now and then. If you do so, you’ll look unpleasant in real which you wouldn’t have been by just self-confidence.
Try to compliment yourself with a positive point. Whatever you like about your looks, appreciate it. You’ll be surprised that , automatically it leads to a ‘happy you’ !
4. Shake off the media’s definition of beauty:
Human beings these days tend to be objectified in the media. This can lead to problems with self-image and self-esteem.
It’s time to throw away the shame-based beauty. Media’s definition of beauty is an artificial idea. Real beauty is ageless. Remember, you’re not here to transform society’s definition of beauty, but to change your own perspective of beauty.
For example: Your grandma’s smile is beautiful for you, or An old man with huge tummy is cute in your eyes.
Set your sights on these real life examples of beauty.
5. Smile more often in the mirror:
Smile at yourself when you look in the mirror. Give yourself a positive feedback. After all the one looking back at you from the other side of the mirror is your best friend . And a best friend at times need a little burst of confidence and positive compliments.
6. Skip wearing uncomfortable outfits:
It’s natural that you’re gonna feel a bit uncomfortable and doubtful about your look when you wear tight clothes . Drop the idea of looking fashionable at the cost of uncomfortableness. If you’re confident in your outfit, it adds up to your personality. And personality is the stepping stone to good looks.
7. Put a full stop to comparison:
Comparisons make you feel inferior to other person because a comparison is tend to assume that one person is better than the other.
Instead of comparing and building an unfair competition for yourself focus on curiosity and compassion.
Remember there’s always a “ Your type of beauty “ which is completely unique. Compliment yourself as a unique individual. Become your own personal beauty authority!
8.Set limits on reading beauty magazines or following celebrities on social media:
You don’t feel good about the way you look and that’s why you are here. It’s my request to disconnect yourself from outside influences. This will help you stop comparing yourself with others and appreciate you for who you are! At least try to set limits rather than completely putting it a full stop. Try to do something that distracts your attention away from outside influences . You can read books, listen to podcasts or go for a walk.
9. Take in insecurity as humility:
Despite your efforts, you may still feel insecure sometimes. And it’s completely OK. You must try to think of yourself as modest instead of insecure. Be grateful for you’re able to acknowledge your flaws and imperfections.
You should and must accept the fact that the only way to feel better about your looks is merely possible by a simple mantra: Focus on feeling better about yourself and accept that you may not ‘like’ your appearance, but you will always ‘love’ yourself for which you are!
10. Discover something that’s more important to you than your looks:
Your look is important but there must be something that’s more important than your looks.
For example: Helping others; having fun with family, friends; going on adventures journeys; reading blogs (thankfully you’re doing one right now) etc etc.
This way you’ll have something or the other to do the entire day .Hence you’ll have less time to focus on just your looks and physical appearance!
11. Focus more on being healthy rather than beautiful:
Being concerned about how your body looks outwards isn’t a healthy practice. Rather being concerned about how your body functions is beneficial. Now think like this ; You want to loose some weight just because your friends comment on your body. If you begin the Exercise or Yoga for the same just to prove others, you might be a failure. Cause, who knows once you loose some weight, they are ready to comment on other body parts ! So, choose your body’s peace not your mind’s satisfaction. You need to do Yoga or Exercise for yourself and not for others. You’ll automatically find yourself beautiful and fit at the same time.
12. Realize that everyone is beautiful:
The most simplest step towards feeling good about the way you look is to believe that everyone is beautiful. Yes, you read it right.
Perfection isn’t real! Everyone has some or the other problems or insecurities about their lifestyle.
Note that beauty isn’t always physical. If someone is pretty when he or she smiles appreciate their smile. Who knows he or she appreciates you back !
Practice gratitude , cause it’s the key to happy beings and happy beings are the most beautiful.
13. Read some Self-love books:
What’s better than reading books by authors who have faced insecurities in their lives. Go through these books and learn how to boost your self-confidence. I bet you will love the journey of reading the books mentioned below:
- Feeling good about the way you look – Sabine Wilhelm
- The self-care project – Jayne Hardy
- Feel good about yourself – Rachel Robins
- The gifts of imperfections – Brene Brown
Read our blog Self-Help Books that will change your life.
Author: Komal Kumari and Priyanka Raj from team invertedmirror.com